so much for 1 1/8 lbs ...

i am so freaking depressed ...

i am HOPING it is water weight that has made me gain the 3 1/2 pounds.

and NO, i have not been eating perfectly (eat cause i'm depressed, depressed cause i eat ... another flipping vicous cycle)

actually, today is the first time i have deliberatly eaten poor choices due to stress / depression since i was banded in October. i bought a hershey's bar with almonds and stared at it for a good 5 minutes before i opened (and ate) it.

my thighs are killing me. even though i havent been posting my exercising (yes, i need to work on that as well) i have been putting in about an hour a day at the gym. elliptical / bike / elliptical.

today i went on the ellip for 2 3/4 miles, then 3 1/2 miles on the bike, then 3/4 mile on the elliptical again.

i spoke with my trainer and she thinks i may be "over trained" or over exerted and if my massage doesnt help my outter thighs (they ache all the time) she doesnt want to see me in the gym for 3 days. **sigh** that did not help the depression.

many WLS patients replace one obsessive behavior (eating) with another. mine is working out. i am depressed at the fact that i may not be able to work out for 3 days... how sick is that??