NYE tradition...

mongo shrimp and spicy cocktail sauce.. these things are HUGE...
(12-14/lb)
yum

I feel

like a fucking beached whale..

its TOM and I am so bloated that I just want to stay in bed and not
move. cramps are horrible, my back is killing me.. did I mention I
just wanna stay in bed?

in fact, that's where I am now.. I <3 my iPhone sooo much. laying
(lying) in bed listening to Damien Rice 'Blowers Daughter' over and
over and over again. I threw a few movies on my phone, DD will be
going to school, DH is going in to work, I think i will stay in
bed... under the nice warm flannel sheets.. yay!!!!!!!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

its a mushy!!

really...

and no, I alone didnt eat all of that.. DD&DH helped - a lot

just realized ...

when I was REALLY FAT (as opposed to just FAT now) not only would I
scarf my food, I would eat it all cause after all, I was wasting money
- throwing it away - if I didnt eat it all...

now, not so much... went to wendy's for lunch (large mushy chili and
small frosty) after eating about 3/4 of the chili and 1/4 of the
frosty, I'm finished... the rest is being thrown away.

pretty cool! ;)

HOLY PB batman!

can you say restricted?

i need to learn to eat more like a bandster i guess. i am the most restricted i've ever been and my fill was a few weeks ago.

i will be the first to admit that i take 'normal' bites and chew/swallow in stages (chew, swallow a little, chew more, swallow more, etc...)

last night we went to Pho and i had a little beef (maybe 2 ounces, about 4 pieces paper thin), then i ate some of DD's chicken. i know in my heart of hearts that i didnt chew well enough but thought i would be ok, cause after all, i was fine before ... oh dear God. on the way home i couldnt swallow my own saliva, DH had to pull over and i PBd in a parking lot. thought i was fine, but almost got home, yup another PB.

this is my 2nd PB in a week. not a good thing. i dont think i am overfilled, just am at the sweet spot. i can get liquids down fine and i know if i chew my food well, i should be OK with solids.

so, needless to say, liquids for breakfast (coffee w/ extra 'boost').

weight-wise, losing the same 3-5 pounds over and over. i'll get down to 261.8ish and then back up to 264... i dont get it.

you dont get thin

eating cookie dough....

not...that...i....am....doing....that....

sent from my iPhone ;)

so fucking fed up

there was an LBT post from someone who had surgery 4-5 days ago ...

a different brilliant person posted the following:
man that's a long time to be on all liqids I had only 1 week on liquids second week soft soilds week three regular food , I say try some tuna in the second week just a tablespoon something that will stick to u and not hurt

WHAT ... THE ... FUCK?

i finally just completely lost it at the arrogance and stupidity of this poster and basically said who would you rather listen to, someone with horrid spelling and grammar or your surgeon.

i did end up taking it down, because it wasnt a RnR thread, she did see it and claimed
"wayne I guess if we all was prefect like her we would not be here. oh!by the way its called a typograhical error it happens to the best of us.thanks again for your input..."

other examples of her posts ... these are NOT typos ...
thank you so much for not being selfish for relizing that family comes first and that your brother love you so much and will do anything in the world for you . you finally relized that money is not everything and will not make you happly. we went though some much together, our lives and stories are amost exact I love you so much and will be there when your baby girl is born

I lose more eating soilds because I got full faster and the soup have so much salt it keeps the weight on you.

I seriously doubt that a tablespoon of tuna in the second or third week will kill someone or harm there lapband process.

well actually u did miss th MD after my name thanks for noticing, and I know he would mine because I ask already thanks for you input.

and i KNOW i am far from perfect but good fucking god... typos ??? ummm, i didnt know you could typo correct words when you meant different ones... the soup have so much? that last one just has me seeing stars .. ?????

can you say restriction??!!

whoa!!

merry Christmas - had dim sum for lunch and pb'd it up for the most part ... **sigh** totally unexpected.

so im on liquids right now - great christmas dinner **eyeroll**

i hope everyone had a great christmas!
LJ

Monday 12/24 exercise

Monday 12/24
14:19 mile
15 x 2 of the following:
ball pass
weighted crunch
twists 30
rolling ball bridge
reverse crunch
1 leg bridge 10 each leg
bicep curls 5lb 15 each
flye 8 lb 15 each
tricep on ball 8lb 15 each
leg press machine lvl 4 15 each
leg extension lvl 4 15 both
leg curl lvl 4 15 both
stretch x1
bike for 1.15 mile DH sick so I left

sent from my iPhone ;)

damn that felt good

cant sleep

for the past several nights, I've been waking up around 330-400.
tonight is no exception, going to go work out I guess.

sent from my iPhone ;)

spam comments

apparently some spammer likes my "fuel" (food) entries and likes to post their shitty links.

i've enabled comment moderation for that reason...

yup, he's a fucker.

19December

only 71 days til my abdominalplasty ... gack!!

i truly am a chicken shit and hate pain. HATE pain... but this is going to be worth it. a few weeks of pain and then a lifetime to live. no huge gut hanging down my thighs.

i'll be able to run with no issues, i can get up from whereever - couch, floor, etc without being worried that i will lose my balance and topple over (yup, it's happened more than i care to admit).

i nearly look drunk sometimes getting up, just losing my balance for a few seconds ... no more of that! :)

oh damn...

i hate pain ... WTF am i doing? im such a chicken shit...

18December food

planned

18Dec exercise

Treadmill
15:30 1.05 miles
5 min warmup
3 min run
2 walk
2 run
2 walk
1 run
:30 walk

Bike
5:34 2.00

Strength training - arms & stretching

off to run

yay

sent from my iPhone ;)

73 days until surgery

... not counting today. my surgery is scheduled for 29February, 08.... this of course depends on if my boss gives me the OK...

oh shit, i am nervous!

boy im fucking cranky lately ... holy shit. i feel like i am going to start any second now, cramps and everything. WTF????

17December food

not bad, kind of high in fat though


1326 cals
70g fat (47%)
103g carb (31%)
74g protein (22%)

why plastics now?

i think i will be more proportioned after the procedure... i have a 40 bust, 38 waist and 52.75 hips ... that's just so wrong. and yes, i am big boned, but the bones arent that big...

head hunger is a bitch today...

i am so not physically hungry. i just had a nice lunch with about 3 pieces of shrimp **eyeroll**, some salsa type stuff and some whole wheat orzo pasta. it was OK... i can feel the food in my pouch, so i know i am not physically hungry... but i want to eat something. preferably chocolate...

*sigh*
it cannot be that TOM again ... it just cant.

funding complete

plastics is a go, just need to find a date that works with DH's and my
work and do it...

oh boy...
sent from my iPhone ;)

15 December

had a training session with Steph today. wow, it had been about a
month and I felt it!!

did 2 mins running 2 walk 1 run as well.

LOTS of ab/core work, arms and legs.

measurements:
neck - same
chest - down .5
upper arm - down .25
forearm - same
waist - down .5
hips - down 1
thigh - down .25
calf - same

total lost - 2.5 inches last month.. not bad.

my body fat% is down to 33.1 (1.2% more lost will put me in the
"normal" category) it was 39% in June.

sent from my iPhone ;)

after reading last night's entry..

PROGRESSIVE tension sutures

"dont do it" eye roll, I am going to use the I was tired excuse...

still no offers on the 10600... ;)

sent from my iPhone ;)

forgot to mention..

dr said that he didnt think I was really a BIG GIRL... except of
course for my massive pannus...

oh and another thing... the gown which they said time and time again
was EXTREMELY small... fit!!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

plastics consult

ok, I really need to get to bed but I wanted to post a tad..

- full abdominalplasty (tummy tuck) including muscles.
- lipo where needed
- mons lift included
- 1 night in hospital

- continuous tension sutures ( I think that is the name) helps with
healing.
- NO drains due to special suturing
- running in 4-5 weeks at a slower pace
- basically if it hurts dont do it
- sigh - anyone wanna give me $10,600?

I wanna do it. now.

sent from my iPhone ;)

good god, how difficult is it to be ON TIME??

sigh. 9:00 appt, 926 now. I mean really, I busted my ass to get here
on time. this guy better be good.

sent from my iPhone ;)

14 December

worked my ass of at the gym this morning. it was amazing..
had my fill yesterday, up to 11ish ccs, not sure how much it holds,
but she said to come back if it doesnt work. I told her to pretty
much close me up... ;)

I am stuck in traffic on my way to a plastics consult.. fun. will
post more later.

sent from my iPhone ;)

on my way

to work out... joy

sent from my iPhone ;)

this is SO not cool

ok so last week I did really really well going from 270.6 to 261.8!!

I was OK during the weekend, absolutely nothing overboard thank to my
wonderful restriction! :)

well I got on the scale this morning, fucking up to 266!!! WHAT THE
FUCK??!??! I am so fucking pissed. that's it, no more weighing
except once a week and I am tempted to just have DH record it for me..

I just dont get it. 1-2 pounds maybe, but I did not eat 17,500 EXTRA
cals!!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

Christine
sent from my iPhone ;)

10December food

Breakfast
Atkins Caramel shake

Snack
8 honey sesame Kashi crackers
1 wedge Laughing Cow light cheese

planned
Lunch
2-3 oz baby blends salad w/ red onions, 3 cubes of ham and a pinch of shredded cheddar
each bite had a dab of ranch dressing.
oh boy those onions were strong!!!

Snack
1 oatmeal dark chocolate cookie
1 Atkins Mocha shake

dinner
Italian herb fish
cajun fish (i needed to up my cals, not sure how this will work with me being so restricted)
.5 cup green beans (canned)
.5 cup baby blends salad
.5 TBSP peppercorn ranch salad dressing

sometime during the day i am also going to have 1 cup of V8 light splash berry blends.

horrid pictures ...

DD's birthday party ....

notice the arms ... ick ... ICK ... ICK.

notice the pannus more.... yup ... touching the ground. i look like i weigh 400 pounds still. **cry**


where do the 'girls' end and tummy begin ... hint - the girls are the flattest part of the picture.

**sigh** no plan for Monday

i forgot to cook chicken tonight for lunch tomorrow.

no freaking clue what i am going to eat tomorrow.

B
Atkins shake
S
cookie ??
L
muscle milk shake ?????
or
Atkins shake
S
?????
D
?????

looks like im kinda screwed.

this weekend food wise wasnt awful but it wasnt great either. ate a tad more than i should have tonight for dinner, but **shrug** ok, i really dont have any excuses...

im tired and really need to get to bed, but i just dont want to yet. i am taking the day off working out (yeah, thats the way to drop the weight **eye roll**)

i ran again today

What a great sweaty mess i was this morning.

1 mile total on the crappy hotel treadmill and about 7 miles on the bike.

It felt amazing!!!

Not sure what my schedule is going to be this week with running, etc. i do have a trainer appt Saturday.

1/2 the woman...

about 12 months ago this size 6XL jacket was very SNUG... could barely snap it shut. the left snaps can be brought over to my right side, same with the right snaps ...

i am so so pleased .. :)

DD's party...

last year for my DD's birthday, I had 2 pretty big pieces of cake.
this year, not even 1/2 of a small one..

we went to pappadeaux's for dinner. I had a cup of gumbo (with some
bread added) and 1/3 of a piece of sausage. I was satisfied...

my MIL commented. 'you look good'. I think that's all I will get
from them, but that's ok... not doing it for the kudos.. ;)

ok sleeeeepy!! running again tomorrow...
night

sent from my iPhone ;)

I RAN!!

woo hoo
it felt so amazing
1.5 min run
1.5 walk
3 run
1.5 walk
2 run
1.5 walk
2 run
1.5 walk
3.25 run
1.25 walk
1 run
1 walk
1 run
1 walk
then ab work and stretching
then back to running
3 run
1.5 walk
1 run
2 walk

it felt so amazing to get back on that treadmill.

sent from my iPhone ;)

oh dear ...

lunch went pretty well, i was full but not FULL ...

well, my office is across from the kitchen. they brought all the leftover food to the kitchen. brownies ...

i took a chunk (ok, a piece) and ate it... UP it came ... WTF????

07Dec food

my plan today is to eat as best as possible and try to log everything.

we have a pot luck at work today and then my rents are coming in for DD's b-day and we are going out to dinner. i can eat whatever i want, just a lot less...

OH SHIT!

in a good way of course! lowest i've been in well over a decade.

14 month pictures

i finally had to retire the 'paint splattered' bike shorts ... the pants im wearing now are black running pants (size ladies XL from Target) ... yup, they are skin tight...

im posting a tad early cause my parents AND my in-laws are visiting for DD's 4th birthday ...

another 14/16

yup, i went shopping (see hangers/junk - sorry about that)... and you even get to see some of my cleavage cause i was too lazy to put on a tank top...

again - aside from the upper tummy, looks pretty good.

14/16!!!!

the tag from the sweater below ... 14/16 ... omg.

the 18/20 was actually too big in the side/chest/under arm area. wow.

see what im talking about

woo hoo

not bad .. went shopping (yes, again...)
**sigh** with exception to my upper tummy 'roll', it doesnt look bad

that would be DD in the picture

06December food - planned

im still super restricted ...


cals 640
fat 27.3 g (38%)
carbs 54.9 g (34%)
protein 43.7 g (27%)

protein still too low. maybe tomorrow i will have another shake or something...

dammit i lost my links

ive been playing with my templates and lost my links. grrrrr

it's a numbers game

dammit... i had a whole thoughtful post typed out and blogger crapped out on me...
grrrrrr....

myfooddiary has a sort of motivational system in place. if you are doing well and making good choices you get a nice green smiling face on your summary. if you could be doing better, you get a red frown.

my goal is, of course, to have mostly (if not all) green smiling faces greeting me.

in planning my food for the next day, i try to take this into account. last night i didnt have much time to plan so i just threw some stuff together that i knew were well balanced and would keep me satisfied. part of my choices included cheese and crackers. that's healthy, got a bit of fat, some carbs and a little bit of protein in there as well. **sigh** red frowning face. too much saturated fat grams (about 10%).

so i reworked it.

a few days ago, i bought these amazing Kashi dark chocolate and oatmeal cookies. they are really tasty and satisfy any sweet craving i am having. i replaced one of my cheese/cracker snacks with a cookie - voila! all green smiling faces! i guess i needed the fiber.

sooooo ... it IS ok to have a cookie (emphasis on ONE cookie) to balance out your day as long as you are making good choices the rest of the day.

this is not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. i fail miserably on diets (ummm... low carbing it sent me in a horrible frenzy of off plan for about 3 months. granted i lost a ton in a week, but what did i do the other weeks? nothing.)

on the weight loss front - - i am very pleased. down 6 pounds since this Tuesday. just by planning my day and watching what i eat. i am sad to say exercise has not been a priority lately. with DH gone (came back Tues night) and my stupid toe - still, it's just so difficult to do anything. im going to get there though. i really am.

i am 1.2 pounds away from my lowest weight in a very very VERY long time (think about 15 years!) yay.

happy birthday Maddie!

:)

05December food

was a nice day. i was not very hungry at all. the looks of it, i ate a ton, but it wasnt bad at all.
cals 687
fat 28.5g 38% (kinda high)
carb 60.3g 36%
pro 44.1g 26% (kinda low)

problem was i was not very hungry for dinner. next time i will cut the salad dressing down and hope to get a tad more chicken in. i just couldnt do it tonight. my DD and i split 1/2 a (large) breast and she ate most of it

thank you lap band!!

04December food

03 December fuel

Breakfast
Muscle Milk (Mocha Joe)
7 oz skim milk

Lunch
Starbucks Chicken sandwich ... yummie!

Dinner
Macaroni Grill Spinach Artichoke

Snack
Few handfuls of gingerbread mini cookies. **eyeroll**

so it was a high calorie day, figuring out tomorrow right now.

02December food

not bad. i did get quite hungry later in the evening. instead of going for chips though, i had another chicken strip.

breakfast
Atkins Mocha shake

snack
1 cup V8 splash diet berry blend
Kashi Oatmeal Dark Chocolate cookie - yummo!

lunch
1/4 cup Cottage Cheese 1%
whipped with 1/4 cup frozen cherries

dinner
2 chicken breast strips (abt 3 oz)
2 tbsp Pace chipotle salsa
Mukimame Blend (soy beans, green beans & mushrooms) steamed w/ a bit of spicy stuff on top

snack
1 chicken strip w/ chipotle salsa

538 cals
16.1g fat 27%
49.3 carb 36%
49.7 protein 37%

a new plan

fuck it. we'll see what happens when I have a reasonable balance of
carbs.

will submit plan when I get my lazy ass out if bed.. ;)

sent from my iPhone ;)

awww fuck...

I shrunk the wrong clothes... shrunk some of my new 18/20s...

dammit, wayyyyy too short now. the t-shirts just suck now.

sent from my iPhone ;)

the belly ...

W I D E ...

you can't really tell in the pic, but I got a bit of camel toe going on.

but I dont give a fuck - they are 18/20s!! they will be hanging soon.

new outdoors xrcize clothes!

yup, a tad snug, but they are 18/20s! :)

Oprah - 28Nov

Oprah has weight loss success stories on today.

wow, incredible!!

reminded me of a long time ago (maybe the year 2000)

breakfast -
1 liter of ruby red squirt
2 breakfast sandwiches from QT (gas station)

lunch -
another liter of ruby red squirt thruout the day
whole lunch - 2 "veggies" (usually potatoes), meat and of course a roll
dessert

continue drinking soda
dinner - LOTS ... LOTS and LOTS
maybe another 2 liters of ruby red squirt.

CRAZY ..

oh boy my ignore list on LBT is getting huge

between the SPARKLY HUGE SIG pic people and the people who cant handle RnR posts and feel ATTACKED ... (ohhhhh poor you) and then there is just one poster who doesnt know what the fuck she's talking about...

i have about 10 people on ignore. hope they dont post in the WL challenge cause i guess they wont get updated...

4 mins and I'm leaving

getting very very pissed now. my fucking god

sent from my iPhone ;)

1130 appt

still waiting.

FUCKING FREEZING in this office too!

sent from my iPhone ;)

i feel like crap

i am cramping right now. wanna crawl back into bed. of course TOM would start the day i have a plastics consult.

yup - consult today, but i think the MD will look at me and laugh then leave... **eyeroll**

more later, gotta get DD out of bed

28 November fuel

Breakfast
Atkins Caramel Latte Shake

planned

Snack
Almonds?

Lunch
Sweet/Spicy Tuna

Snack
Atkins Shake?

Dinner
Sweet/Spicy Turkey Sausages
Salad w/ Ranch dressing and tomato

27 November food

Breakfast
Atkins Caramel Latte Shake
9 Lime/Chili Almonds

Lunch
Sweet & Spicy Tuna
Mayo
Eggs

Dinner
Rotis chicken
stuffing ... :(

going public again ...

no need to keep it private.

if you cant handle what i say, dont read ...

life really sucks sometimes

im just saying.

simply amazing

cornflake grrrrl

ehhhh
show good so far.. until CG

where's Tori?

gunna be right there

always in motion...

;)
in tori lobby

work fucking sucks

one of the worst bid runs in my career and it was 100% my fault . I
was at work yesterday for almost 12 hours. as the day went on, the
more chocolate I consumed. why do I still eat my feelings?

I haven't SERIOUSLY moved my ass in days - there's my answer. I left
my shoes at home. tried DH's shoes - wayyyyy too big and he has worse
arches than I do. dont wanna go down that road again.

TORI (Amos) is tonight . I can't fucking wait. although I dont know
half her new stuff'. I purchased the "gold package" so I get to
attend part of the sound check. I had the platinum package, but
realized it was only 1 seat (instead of 3) and went back to change it
- lost the package ... :( :( but I have alreadymet her (3 times)
but it would have been nice to meet her when I wasn't HUGE.

oh yeah, DD's first concert. hopefully she will do ok.

sent from my iPhone ;)

wide awake since 330am

sigh WTF???

sent from my iPhone ;)

at work a few days ago...

I heart my nano... :)

my lungs ache..

cold air in my lungs sucks!!

I went a mile and DD was too cold to continue so we are off to the
house.

sent from my iPhone ;)

grrr mama's not happy

no fucking parking for the trot.

I TOLD D(amn) H that we would need cash. no we won't.

only parking left costs 5 bucks.

sooo we are having our own trot at a park by out house. I then get to
cook a big turkey dinner. I am so excited.

can you tell?

I WILL rualk today!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

gobble gobble

on our way to the turkey trot.

it is very brisk outside. windy too. yay!!! not really.

didnt sleep worth a damn last night thanks to DH's snoring. I'd
finally get back to sleep and he would start up again.

you'd think he weighed 500 lbs based on his snoring.

ok must help look for food

sent from my iPhone ;)

almost time ...

to get out of here and start rualking ...

wooo hooo ... 20mins to go.

work wise - bid run prep has gone fine. i should be OK. hopefully. (dont wanna jinx anything...) i am as ready as i can be for tomorrow.

i am at work and listening to "Double Cross" on my iPod

wonder if i can listen to this and rualk at the same time? its getting pretty good! :)

oh dear mother of god!

WTF is up with the bitches at LBT.

oldies suck, nymphs are the best, i am better than you and know more even though i havent even been banded yet ...

fuckers.

running on hold

more details later... 8)

yup ... everything is all good ...

i sent you a PM on LBT. kind of cryptic still though ... sorry. :/

in the words of Piglet ...

oh d-d-d-dear ...

still awake.. 12:16am

not a good thing....

sent from my iPhone ;)

mmmm... the scent of new shoes.

they look great! will they get me running again??

another new pair of shoes..

hopefully these will allow me to run again...

I am very surprised they took the old shoes back, but it was a smart
move on their part - I will be a customer for a long time now.

I went for my walk this afternoon and after 1/2 mile EVERYTHING below
my hips hurt so much.

I will try to run tomorrow.

sent from my iPhone ;)

fuel 12 Nov 07

maybe im not a runner..

week 3 of couch to 5K is not going well for me. :(

i did my 90 seconds of running, then my 90 seconds of walking and just couldnt do the 3 minute run. i dunno what it was / is... my calves cramped up like a mother and it hurt just to walk, much less run.

now, 3 hours later my legs are crampy, my feet need a REALLY good rub/massage and my right glute is achey... i did walk over 3 miles. 2 miles on the treadmill (31 mins) then i went to a new park to scope out the new trail. its a pretty good one that i will more than likely go to. it does have a slight incline, but i can deal with it. i did a lap (.298 miles) in 5:21.4. next time i will time the entire run/walk (ok, i walked 99.5% of the time). i may even go tomorrow ...

WTF????

i want to run ... i love the rush of running ... why wont my body cooperate?? and i'm not running fast at all ... 4.4 is my 'average'. i even dropped down the speed to 4.2 and i just couldnt do it.

so instead of c25k - this is what i did:
30 seconds running 4.2
1 min walking 3.5-3.9
45 seconds running 4.4
2 min walking 3.5-3.9
1 min running 4.4
2 min walking 3.5-3.9
1 min 15 sec running 4.4
2 min walking 3.5-3.9
45 secs running 4.5
cool down.

this is nowhere where i want to be ... NOWHERE... i am disappointed in myself and my will power (or lack there of..) im depressed. the one good thing - my eating was on target today! in fact, there are some "brownie bites" (that i bought this weekend and had 3-4ish), and didnt have any today! yay me.

i need to work on posting my food all the time - not just my good days ... **eye roll**

running gear

we went to Run On Dallas today.

bought a reflective top and some shorts. the top is a LADIES XL!!!!
wooo fucking hoooo!!!

first outdoor run - a bust

a combination of too many new things.. new shoes (tied too tight I
think), new trail, trail with slight inclines, DH and DD were with me,
too much of a distraction I think, I didnt properly stretch..

too many excuses. :( next time I need to just suck it up and run. I
feel like crap that I couldn't do it. I did get a nice mile walk in,
but that's not any consolation..

sent from my iPhone ;)

09Nov stuff

ok - so i cheated and copied something i posted in LBT as well...

i bought a new pair of running shoes today ... New Balance something or other. it was really cool. i went to an actual running store and tried on 8 pair of shoes... wow, the service was great!! i did buy the running shoes and a pair for aerobic type exercise. guess i'm committed (or should be - ha) to taking more classes.

i need to concentrate on my eating. cant fall into bad habits again ... need to stick to healthy proteins to feed my body properly.

i did not run today. i just ran out of time. i did, however, walk a ton today. i explored 2 different trails to run outside and walked w/ Ddog and DD. almost 12,000 steps today!! i was so proud of my DD (4 next month) she did so well on that trail. it was just under a mile and she walked/ran it with me. i did break into a run a few times, but i was in sandals so didnt want to mess up my feet (too late )

i am noticing quite a few changes in my body. my DT(rainer) took measurements for last month and i lost 1 inch in my waist, 2 inches in my hips and a tad in my legs. im surprised my legs didnt lose more, but my muscles have become more pronounced. gotta love major leg muscles.

i signed up for our turkey trot in Dallas for Thanksgiving morning. i wanted to do the 15K, but know there is no way i could do it.... so DD, DH and I are doing the 5K. wooo hoooo...

gack ... it's official ...

i just registered for the Minnie marathon less than an hour ago and it is starting to sink in now.

25 full weeks until i run. i have a feeling it is going to fly by.

more info can be found here - http://disneyworldsports.disney.go.com/dwws/en_US/endurance/events/detail?name=Endurance2008MinnieMarathonWeekend15KEventDetailPage

running

seeing JulieNYC's time in the NYC Maraton makes me cry ... not in a bad way at all. it gives me hope that i can actually do this whole "losing weight and running thing".

Julie started about where i did weight-wise and she has lost an incredible 200+ pounds. i am so incredibly proud of her, such an incredible inspiration.

so, once again - YAY Julie! you deserve everything you have and tons more!! CONGRATS!!!!

i have to congratulate

JulieNYC! She did simply amazing in her marathon.

HUGE kudos to her!!!

05Nov food

Breakfast
Atkins Mocha RTD shake

no AM snack

Lunch
scoop of tuna with egg and spicy mayo

Planned:

Snack 2
iSS protein wafer bar
and/or?
Atkins Caramel Latte RTD shake

Dinner
4 oz summer sausage
little onion

05Nov work out

couch to 5K week 3

1.66 miles in 25 mins followed by some leg stretches

walked up the 2 flights of stairs to my office.

did i mention i am wearing an outfit (from Target who runs small) - skirt is 16/18! :)

I miss LBT

:(

sent from my iPhone ;)

Terridoodle's avitar saying and my running

HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT??!

how awesome is that?

I did week 3 of couch to 5k today. I ran for 3 minutes. it was not
easy, but I did it!

90 secs run/walk
180 secs run/walk
repeat once

it was really a rush.
sent from my iPhone ;)

happy sunday

well i am safely back from St. Louis. didnt do horrible. made a couple of choices that could have been better, but no real regrets.

I WENT SHOPPPPPPING!!!! Hopefully my last shopping spree (430*ish dollars) at The Avenue.
and that is after quite a bit of savings. it was buy 1 get 1 half-off AND i had a 20% coupon off everything! wow wow wow.

you know the really cool thing - 18/20 pants!! ALL of them!! all but 2 shirts were 18/20. 2 were 22/24 but they were just too fitted for me. i wasnt going to try on those dress pants, but i thought why not? grabbed the 22/24 and the 26/28 cause my belly is still huge... the 22/24s were too big! i had to get the smaller size ... OMG OMG O M G!!

i am now the same size as my sister. i know i weigh more than she does, but that's not going to be true for long.

running really is working i think.

speaking of Running - thoughts are with JulieNYC who ran in the New York marathon today. LBT is down (grrr) so i have no idea how she did. hopefully she had a great injury free race!!

i dunno if i've mentioned it here or not, but i was thinking about running the BOSTON MARATHON in 2009. **sigh** i dunno if that is going to be a reality now. turns out i have to qualify from a different marathon with a 5 hour something minute finish time ... **sigh** dunno if that can happen. : \ but i'm gunna try!

im thinking about going back to a step class to help speed up the weight loss. i guess i sound selfish or whatever, but i need to get this weight off YESTERDAY!! i will not injure myself though. if it is too much, i will stop and just continue to run.

not sure how i am going to handle my training sessions. i only have 1 hour-long session left, then a few half-hour sessions. i am thinking about training for an hour a week instead of 1 1/2 hours. the other day i normally trained would be spent on cardio / weights, just not structured. i dunno though. i feel like i am 'firing' her, ya know?? and she really has been great with me so far.

ok ... i am going to try to run tomorrow morning and then do something else tomorrow afternoon or just come home early ; )

LBT is still down and i am bummed ... i didnt get to read much this weekend at all and am starting to suffer withdrawl symptoms.

later gater ... (DD's new fave expression)

halloween blow out

i wont even go into details cause i dont know them.

i waited 2 days to have halloween candy and am nauseous now from it ... too much ...

what a fuck up.

WTF???

i am SO physically hungry today. (not head hunger - actual hunger!!) grrrr...

i am already eating lunch. its 1038AM!!

i guess i will give my body what it is craving (food) ... i will keep it as low carb as possible and log everything.

02 November food

i woke up starving today so i had about 5 oz of muscle milk chocolate RTD.
Breakfast
Atkins Cafe Caramel Shake

Snack
8 Wasabi & Soy Sauce almonds (gack ran out!!)
28.5 (yeah, i know) lime / chili amonds ...

starving!!! WTF??!
lunch part 1? snack part 2??
Tuna salad (same as yesterday)

Lunch
8 chic fil a nuggets ... yes 8

Dinner
4 buffalo wings
2 TBSP Bleu Cheese Dressing

sigh...

this morning's run was hard. i just couldnt get going. i didnt want to run ... but i did. in fact, for the first time ever, my average speed was 4.0 MPH. walking at 3.7-4.0 and running at 4.4 - 4.7 MPH. i was on run 2 and i was already counting the 'runs' ...

i then did some leg and ab work. nothing too strenuous, but enough to keep me sweaty and gross. i am now exhausted. i dunno what it is. i woke up about 415am and just couldnt sleep. now i am having a difficult time keeping my eyes open.

and i 'gained' .25 lb. i know it is water or maybe sodium from the shrimp / crab last night ... but it still kinda bums me out.

DD and i are going to my hometown to visit my parents today. hopefully the seatbelt will fit well without the extension. last time i flew it was OK, but not much room. DH isnt going - he has to work. i hate that! dont know how much exercise i will be getting either. oh well, they havent seen me in awhile, so it will be nice. of course, i've only lost about 8 pounds since August, but i think i am more toned now. :)

mmmmm caffeine is kicking in from my caramel latte shake. it's just the right amount..

my challenge to myself for this weekend - try to not go into carb overload ... i packed my shakes for breakfast, will have nuts as my snack. maybe dad will take me for a steak ... yummmmy! but i wont hold my breath. they like to eat in or pizza or something ... yay... pizza. ick.

have a great weekend!

01November Food

i am running tomorrow, so cals need to be definitely above 1000. dont want the woooooozy feeling like Tuesday!!
Breakfast
Atkins Cafe Caramel Shake

Snack
14 Wasabi & Soy Sauce almonds

Lunch
Tuna salad (same as yesterday)

Snack
Atkins Cafe Mocha Shake

Dinner
5 oz King crab meat
2 shrimp (.66 oz)
2.5 TBSP butter

mmmmmmmm delish!!
Cals - 1291
Fat - 98.9g (69%)
Carbs - 16.1g (5%)
Protein - 82.6g (26%)

wow...

i am looking at my ticker and it just hit me ...

i've gone from almost 60 BMI (59.4) to 38.9 ... holy shit! un fucking real!

what a difference a year makes ...

happy halloween...

comparing 2006 with 2007

31Oct - food

Breakfast
Fage Greek Yogurt - SOOO sick of this! 1/2 container
Apricot Preserves - .75 TBSP

Snack
14 Wasabi & Soy Sauce almonds
2 bars - Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Wafer (ISS - yummy!!)

Lunch
Sweet/Spicy Tuna (1 pack)
Spicy Mayo (couple TBSP)
1 1/2 Eggs

Dinner
6 buffalo wings
1 TBSP Bleu Cheese Dressing

yummy.
Cals - 1180
Fat - 89.1 g (68%)
Carbs - 28.3g (10%)
Protein - 66.9g (23%)

rude people suck !

i'm just saying...

if you dont like the way someone looks, shut the fuck up. keep it to yourself. who the fuck made you Ms/Mr Tell it the way YOU see it?

shut up...

yup, im rather pissed

my legs freaking ache

Now I know why you really shouldn’t run every day. I normally run M/W/F but took DD to my work Monday for ‘twick or tweat’. So I ran yesterday morning and today so I could stay on schedule.

Daaaaaamn my thighs and calves are just so incredibly achey. The good news is, I can tell a muscular difference in my legs. My thighs are becoming rock solid.

On a different note, I made a consult appt with a plastic surgeon for my batwings. I also told them I wanted to discuss the LBL. I know I have quite a ways to go for the LBL, but I want to set a good goal weight.

Speaking of weight, I am now at my lowest 264.25 !! wooo hooooooo! 11.25 more pounds and I will be down a total of 150 pounds. My only wish is it would have happened in a year, but I can wish in one hand ….

Now all I need is to save $$$$$$ for my surgery (s) ….

bye bye fat ... it's been fucking real

thats it .. i hate to be the bearer of bad news but we are SO finished ... over ... together no more.

starting tomorrow i am going to do everything possible to get you out of my life.
including, but not limited to...
running 3 times a week
t-tapping 2-3 times a week to start
strength training 2-3 times a week
ab work 4-5 times a week

seriously, enough already.

running rocks!!

so i started week 2 for my Couch to 5K program this week. according to my body bugg, i burned 15.7 cals / minute at my peak... HOLY SHIT. i am so psyched!



on a personal note, i miss my Ambyr. terribly. my other dogs miss her as well. they are smelling her on some laundry i still need to do (and just dont want to) and laying on the towels that we used for her to lay on... 8**** (

i miss my Br..

holy shit

i found an old picture of DH and I. this is from April 2004. probably my highest. i know i was well over 400 there. on the right is from our family portrait in August 07.

dayum!!!



(go Rockies!!)

Ambyr Alexia ... 4/16/99 - 10/19/07

you were my baby grrrrl, my sweet sweet one. who let me do pretty much anything to her. She's donned Steak n Shake hats, wigs, antlers - you name it ...

she left this world today and "jumped over the rainbow" as DD said.

you were the sweetest, gentlest fur child i have ever known.

may you rest in peace

i love you

19Oct food

Breakfast
Venti Chai Latte from Bux

Snack
Laughing Cow light garlic/herb cheese wedge
1 (yes 1) rice cracker 'crisp' ... i bought these at costco for DH and i like them more than he does..

Lunch
2 servings (1 cup) stove top dressing (chicken flavor)
1/3 cup cranberry sauce

Snack
?

Dinner
??

ok ... back with the program - exercise 10/19

week 1 day 3 of the couch to 5 k program. i am progressively getting a tad faster. i dont know any other way to get my HR up. maybe an incline interval?? Monday i burned 14 cals a minute, Wed was 13.8, today was 13.2 so i dunno if my body is getting used to the running or what????

3o mins to do 1 3/4 mile - not bad at all... :)




after my run i did some ab work.
oblique crunchies - where i lay on floor, knees bent where my heels are as close to my bum as i can get them (not very) i lift my shoulders off the ground like a regular crunch but then i just go sideways and touch my ankle or calf with my hand ... go back and forth each hand. i did 2 sets of 30.

regular crunches - 2 sets of 15

pushups - 2 sets of 10 (yeah, i know) ... my arms were really sore from yesterday's workout though...

week 1 day 1 C-2-5K

i didnt think that podcast was ever going to end!! i did my first couch to 5K program today. that's 5 mins of warm up, 60 seconds running, 90 seconds walking and repeat that until you have 20 mins of running/walking then an additional 5 mins of cooling down/walking. 30 mins total.

it was nice, but damn my legs were just screaming!!

i took jachut's suggestion from LBT and went slower. i think the fastest i went was 4.2 MPH. i felt funny doing it though, but i dont think i would have been able to go as long not doing it.

i loathe cold stone ...

ok, it's not like they are delivering to my house or anything... **sigh** i need to cut the crap with the ice cream! wth??

yay ...

i was on track yesterday ... NO CHEATS!

*dancing* :)

ok, so i didnt work out this morning, but i need to rest for the 5K tomorrow. i am walking for the ADA (diabetis). i may try my T-Tapp tonight ... hopefully i'll like it!

if i've said it once, i've said it 1000 times...

yup, i need to get my shit together.

today has been good so far.
yesterday was good until dinner. i guess we just need to STOP going out to eat, huh...

ok. i can do that.

tonight i am cooking (chicken w/ portabella mushrooms, bacon and swiss cheese) so i will stay on plan.

NOMOREFUCKINGEXCUSES! i mean it!

11October work out

Ran - alternated 1 minute running (5.0 - 5.2 MPH) with 1min 45sec walking (3.7 - 4.0 MPH) 17:13
Bike - 11:19
Stairmaster type thingy - 2:00
Abs / Strength - 15:00
Stairmaster type thingy - 2:00
Walking - 4:00
Stairmaster type thingy - 2:15
Walking / cooldown - 7:45

EXCELLENT workout. i loved it!!

happy 1 year Band

happy bandiversary, happy bandiversary, happy bandiversary, happy bandiversary

yay! i cannot believe it's been a full year. down 130ish pounds. not too shabby. this is a new year for me and i need to start seeing it as a new year. i need to get my eating in check and just get my crap together.

i had a support group meeting last night that was supposed to talk about emotional eating ... not so much. we got a handout ... WOOOO HOOO.... not so much.

grrrrrrrrr

why cant i stop eating.

yes, i even eat when i am not hungry. i am falling into bad habits once again. i need to just have a clean week and i would be better.

i am not logging my food like i said i was going to. i am just so ticked at myself. at least the scale isnt going up without coming down. but i've lost the same 4-5 pounds over and over again....

yes, i know it has been quite awhile

new month, new attitude.

i havent been eating very well, not horribly but not as well as i should be.

i have pretty much stopped pro-actively losing weight. i eat OK and i exercise a little bit and hey! if i lose then there is a nice bonus. i've pretty much been losing/gaining the same 5 pounds the past several weeks though.

this stops now.

new 12 week challenge is starting today. i have not been to the gym since Thursday. i am going today after work and then have an hour scheduled w/ Steph tomorrow and Thursday. i need a nice kick in the pants.

so for the next 12 weeks i will:

1. log everything that goes in my mouth
2. work out a minimum of 4 days a week
3. log my work outs
4. complete 55 miles on the elliptical a month
5. try to run 1-2 times a week (faster than 4.5 mph)

my goal for the 23rd of December is a very aggressive 230 pounds. that will be losing about 40-45 pounds in 3 months. extremely challenging, but do-able!! if i keep my act together!!

still working my ass off ... still eating way too much.

yup, i need a fill.

too chicken to get another one because right now food = comfort.

i am still working out 5-6 days a week. now only if i could stop feeding my face with carrot cake. **sigh** so fucking frustrated.

today is not a good day...

yup I worked my ass off at the gym this morning, but I am craving
everything under the sun.

I had garbage last night (chocolate / caramel something from Ikea) now
I want carrot cake, not a piece - a cake. ice cream you name it...
if it isnt good for me, I want it.

yes, I am PMS'y but this is the worst it has been. :(

sent from my iPhone ;)

14 Sept work out

furthest on elliptical ever ...

woo hoo

i dont want to talk about it..

ok, so last night i was craving everything under the sun ...

i gave in and had lots of sweets (apple fritters - those are bad and should be outlawed) for those of you who do not know what it is, basically it's dough with apple filling and then fried and glazed ... really healthy.

we then went to Olive Garden for dinner ... CARB OVERLOAD.

needless to say the scale is SO far up i think im going to puke. yes, i am retaining water like a mad woman, but geesh!!

i am staying strict low carb today and tomorrow and hopefully TOM will come and go by Monday's weigh in (hahahahahahahahahahaha!)

on a good note - we did measurements today. 1 3/4 down in my waist since last month! wooo hooo

I RAN

4 sets of up to 45 seconds each

omg it was great

up to 4.9 mph

11 mins total

wow ...

i went to my first Lap Band support group last night. it was great but it needs more structure. it was hard to hear sometimes and some people kind of dominated the conversation and just would.not.let.up...

i worry that i might have monopolized a bit, so next time i'll try to listen more.

when i got home, i realized i didnt have anything to wear for Tuesday. i rummaged thru my closet and found a dress that i bought several weeks ago that was waaaaayyyyyy too tight. i thought what the hey.. tried it on and yayyyyyyy ... it is short but it fit.

(crappy pics from a camera phone)

look at the tag!!! 16/18. ME in a 16/18 (it's a Target dress so it's a wonky size)

like i said, it's shorter than i usually wear, butDH said it looked pretty good. YAY.

i did not work out today. slept in and it was devine!

wooo hooo ... new decade

worked out with Steph this morning for 1/2 session and did 1.75 miles on the elliptical. that stupid machine loves to kick my ass. but i love it. i was drenched when i was finished.

well, i made my goal that i set last week. today i hit 269 (and 5/8). i am just pleased as punch.

tonight i have my first lap band support meeting. i am really looking forward to it. hopefully, someone from i used to work with ... that would just be strange. i heard she's gained quite a bit since i left the department. she is actually the reason i started looking into the lap band so for that i am thankful.

i will post my pics of workouts later maybe.

yeah i know

i havent posted this weekend but it doesnt mean i havent worked my ass off.

down to 270.5

ate carrot cake tonight ...

took pics of me in my "old" PJ outfit ... yeah the shirt is really stained ... sorry ... this are freaking hilarious!! LMAO

these used to NOT fit...