downward spiral

food has once again become my focus. this is not a good thing at all.

i am fighting the restriction that my tool provides. i eat, work through the initial discomfort and keep eating.

this weekend was completely out of control. DH and i split a meal for two (it really is a meal for 3 but the restaurant says 2...)

1 10+ oz steak
5to7 ounces of sausage
about 6 ounces of grilled pork
salad
plantains (fried)
some sort of potato that was fried
potato strings
rice
beans

and of course they had a nutella cake that i alone consumed (minus about 2 bites from DH and DD).

all i think about is food and where my next meal is going to come from. i have lost and gained the same 6 - 8 pounds for over a month.

i need help but dont want to ask for it on LBT - i feel like a major failure. i rarely visit there anymore simply because i do not want to seem like the ultimate hypocrite - giving suggestions and not following my own advice.

i dont know what to do.