ok ... so i've been eating crap lately (although the past 2 days have been much better - thank you ALL for your comments)...
and i've probably gained **blushing** about 7-8 pounds ... ok, not probably. i've gained 9 pounds ... how that happened, i dunno ... i didnt think i was that bad, but i guess i was...
you can really tell i've gained weight ... even in my stomach area *which i thought wasnt supposed to happen, but it has - even in the lower stomach area :( *
i was trying on some shorts/skorts for Disney next week and my wonderful DH looked and said "not so much" ... 8***( what do you mean NOT SO MUCH (yes, i was pissed ...) he asked if i'd rather him lie to me and say it looks great.
this was just with the skorts on (no shirt or a compression garment) so i put on the shirt and he said it was better ... the shitty thing is - it was snug and it was untucked... i've been so proud that i've been able to tuck my shirts in, now i cant even do that.
so, i was just upset (with myself, not DH) and went to bed to watch Dead Like Me (great show, btw)... he came in read... when i was finished, he turned out the light and i dont even remember how i started but i basically said something about my weight and that im going to gain it all back ... he was really supportive but then he decided i needed something stronger ... he was just as angry at the situation as i was...
told me all the things i really needed to hear, let me cry on his shoulder but then told me i gotta get my ass moving again (my words not his)... im healed from the PS and i need to kick it into high gear if i even want to finish Minnie (i havent exercised since i dunno how long ago)... maybe my 9 miler the sunday before last... that is not the way to train for a 15K race.
so im going to put in a few miles after work today, then take a short walk tomorrow morning (i have the day off work).
then the Minnie 15K is Sunday, take a couple days off then i want to average 10-15 miles a week until i start training for Chicago at the end of May.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
DH and i had a chat last night
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4 thoughts:
This is why I love reading your blog--you're completely honest about your weight gains and losses and it shows that the band really doesn't do all the work for you.
You were going so hardcore before with your exercising, I KNOW you can do it again!
So many people have faith in you!
Christine your blog makes me cry sometimes! You are so completely honest and that is a quality we dont' find in many people. I know it is hard. I am battling an injury right now and it pisses me off so much that I don't want to exercise if I can't run. I know stupid thought!
But we all know that you can do it. Now we just need YOU to know that you can do it. As soon as you start training we are going to be virtual partners!!!
LJM,
I think at some point all of us hit this wall. We work so hard for so long and the fight in us just kind of escapes. I have been in that place for a long time. It sucks when the pounds are not pouring off as seemingly easy as they did before. It sucks when every pound is a struggle to lose. And it sucks that they jsut shoot right back up waaaay easier than they come off. The only thing we can do is keep truckin and fight thru is. OHJuli and I have been talking about it a lot lately since I have been in this non excercise hate to diet funk. We are never going to be normal about food. We just have to fight it as long as we can and give ourselves a bit of a break. Then after that break we have to climb back on the wagon. It seems that lately for every 10 pounds I lose, I gain 6 back. And I am willing to accept that now because gaining those 6 pounds is so much sweeter at 190 than it was at 280. Because I know I will get up and work it again soon. Just like you will. You are a rockstar.
BG
thank you guys so much for your comments. they mean the world to me. your support is just amazing. thank you.
yesterday was a good day both food and exercise wise. going to take it one meal at a time today and then we leave for Disney tomorrow, which will more than likely be food overload (we're scheduled for about six character meal), but when i come home, back on track. and who says just cause im going to a character meal that i have to pig out ??
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