food addict ... um, yup that would be me!

i posted this earlier on LBT... basically the thread is about food addictions. i will not repost the original post's post, but it basically said that yup, she is addicted and how the hell does she fix it?

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please know that you are far from alone. even being banded, losing 150ish pounds (with lots more to go), i still have a severe food addiction. severe food addiction. right now i am struggling more than i have in a long time, not sure exactly what or why it is, but its happening in a huge way right now. i have been 'food sober' for 2 days now, actually not even that - i bought jellie bellies for my upcoming race yesterday and had a few handfulls - but i was within my WW points range so lets so it was an 'ok' day. not great, but certainly could have been a ton worse.

there are even days when i work against my band. the very tool that i had installed to help me - i defy. eating eating eating ... and not always the model bandster and going on liquids after i pb... i eat something until i have to pb, make some room and then eat some more. doesnt sound like a very 'successful bandster'... granted i think that's happened 1 maybe 2 times in 17 months, but its happened.

life as i knew it pretty much turned upside down earlier this year, not excusing it, cause it is what it is. but, that didnt help matters.

i was one of the lucky ones who was so fat that my surgeon didnt require anything. no sleep apnea testing, no nutritional counseling, no psychological counseling... all i had to do was have my ticker checked to make sure i wasnt goign to croak on the table and i think i had some blood drawn.

i like jack's perspective, but its not eating that im addicted to ... eating i dunno - insert something incredibly good for you - SOY - eating soy anything (bleck btw) is incredibly different from eating something really good tasting (to me)... it doesnt even have to be 'bad' for me, i dunno ... chicken thigh (breast too tough)... i just cant eat anything... im a relatively picky eater - always have been - too bad the band didnt help in that area....

PMS for me is a bitch. thankfully, i get so tight right before that i can do liquids only for a day or so... but a shake goes down just fine thank you very much

so yeah, do i have a point? i dunno ... just know that you are not alone out there... im literally taking it one meal at a time right now.