the bitch is back

:)

**waving**  hi.

starting low carb today - my food diary "yelled" at me for too low cals... oh well.  tomorrow i'll eat more.

half marathon ... check !

formerly called am I ?)(king crazy... (the answer to that question is 'of course', by the way...)

several days ago, Rick was seriously questioning whether or not he would be able to finish the full White Rock without severly injuring his ankle... he asked me if I wanted to do the half, I said if he wasn't going to do the full, I may TRY the half (no training since September - longest distance was 8 miles). he was kinda wishy-washy about it, so I just said FINE, I'll do the half... **that night**, I got charlie horses in my legs... and the night after as well... and my toenail looked 'off' and felt weird..

so I swore Rick to secrecy.... if I was going to fail miserably, I didn't want the world to know... only person I told was my twin and that was just last night. she's completed a marathon & half before so she was very helpful on the tips...

we stayed at a hotel to be close to the race, J slept in our room and was up - a lot!! sleep for me was sporatic at best...

we left for the parking lot a tad after 5am, getting to what turned out to be the perfect spot... a little sleeping and (too) little eating*... i just was not hungry... had 1/2 piece of marble loaf and a few sips of chocolate milk... tummy was already in gastro distress due to nerves and I didn't want to push things... immodium can only help *so* much... plus, the lines inside the AAC were crazy for the bathroom and this tooshie doesn't touch porto-lets if I can help it!!

I was in wave 'E' aka the slow people's heat... there were people my size, bigger, older, younger... a good mix! there were even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!! and a guy who ran TWENTY-TWO half/marathons since February 2009! CRAZY!!

it took about 12 minutes to get to the actual start line, no fighter jets this year but confetti was apparently on clearance... lots of it falling..

speaking of falling (sorry, couldn't resist), there was this woman who did fall right at the start line. she was ok and got up right away.. I only mention this cause that is SO!! me.

mile 1 was thru downtown Dallas and way too hilly for my liking... it was funny to see all the bopping heads go up the hill...

the rest of the miles were primarily thru residential neighborhoods... VERY nice houses, a lot of the residents were outside cheering us on... very nice!

one stretch that stands out is mile 7-8... it was basically a (VERY) long u-turn... each 'line' of the U was well over 3/4 mile... it was dreadful!

the last 5k was through the Katy Trail... the only good thing about that was I didn't have to worry about getting hit by a car... yes, although I was not last, I was on the (really) slow side and there were maybe 100 people behind me, so they were opening streets to cars every once in awhile... although I did tell a cop about mile 8-9 to just let a car hit me so it'd be over ...

the bad thing about the Katy Trail is the lack of race support ... what would happen if I really couldn't make it? tripped, whatever?? and the fact that towards the end they had benches... very very bad thing... I'll admit I did sit to stretch for about 25 seconds about the 12 mile marker...

i came * * this close to quitting a couple times ... not only because of my blisters (which were fully formed and completely throbbing by mile 4)... but since i hadnt eaten much i was dizzy (dizzier than normal) for many of the early miles...

i finally forced myself to eat a shot blok every 2/3 - 1 mile after that and that seemed to help a bit...

all in all, a crappy race simply due to the fact that I was not adequately trained and was SLOW (!!!!!)... I was so slow I did not get a finisher's shirt... they will supposedly mail me one... I missed the race set time cutoff by less than 5 minutes, but I missed it none the less... so what do i have to show for my efforts, achy body... entire body... from shoulders to tips of my toes, extreme fatigue and an amazing finisher's medal.

if i didnt have the STUNNINGLY AMAZING support from Rick & Karri via text messaging, i wouldnt have finished.

IF I choose to do more long distance racing, I WILL properly train...

....

the band can fix your body but it sure as hell cant fix your head ... ugh

ok ok ok ... :P

so i was told i need to post more often... i will really try to do that ... i really will, but no promises.

you can follow me on facebook (under my real name is most active) or twitter.com/losingjusme   right now, i'm better with short little bursts of stuff ... i also have a running blog as i've signed up for 2 half marathons and a full marathon... my first half is in AUGUST... eeeeeek!!!  the full is in December and 2nd half is March 2010.

so that means i am getting my ass back to the gym on a regular basis, i am filled to about 6 or 6.5 ccs in my band (going every other week for fills cause my doc is great!!), i think i have good restriction right now... i did get a small piece of pork chop stuck tonight ... it didnt cause sliming, etc, but it just wouldnt go down... so i took a gulp of crystal light and up it came... now i dont recommend doing this all the time, but if you're stuck ONCE IN AWHILE, i see no problem doing it... i will be on liquids my next 2 meals because of it...

my new running / training blog is   http://christinesrunning.blogspot.com   i will try to update both as much as possible... :)

so pissed ... not food related

nevermind

follow my journey ..

twitter.com/losingjusme

not sure what I'm going to document there, but it's going to be my
accountability...

sent from my iPhone ;)

oh fuck

SLACKING in eating lately - ok the past 3 months... not working out,
weight WAYYYY UP...

on bike at gym now. I'm SO out of shape 3.3 mph on tmill wiped me
out... 15 tread, 15 bike, 15 tread again or elliptical... 3-4x a week

sent from my iPhone ;)

so I suck

w1d2 c25k not so much...

but when the alarm goes off & DH wants you to stay in bed... OK..

Christine
sent from my iPhone ;)

posted this to FB

but I can be more explicit here...

brownie bite @2am what could be better??

sex THEN brownie bite... heh. work off those anticipated calories ...

sent from my iPhone ;)

ugh

PHYSICALLY I need an unfill in the worst way! all of a sudden I am
MEGA tight & it's hard to keep good foods down...

MENTALLY I need a fill... I'm eating everything in sight and am not
losing weight... blahhhhh

sent from my iPhone ;)

bacon / mushroom quiche

just add cooked bacon...

i LOVE this quiche recipe - can basically use anything you want..
http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/mushroom_cheddar_quiche.html

MUSHROOM & CHEDDAR QUICHE
6 eggs
1 cup heavy cream
8 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1/2 pound fresh mushrooms, sliced
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
Dash pepper
Garlic powder
Dash Spicy Seasoning Salt, optional
Dash toasted onion powder or regular onion powder, optional

Saute the mushrooms in butter until tender and slightly browned; season with salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder, if desired. Beat the eggs and cream with the salt, pepper and desired seasonings. Put the cheese in the bottom of a greased pie plate. Top the cheese with the mushrooms, then pour the egg mixture evenly over all. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Let stand 10 minutes before slicing.

Makes 6-8 servings
Can be frozen

holy crap!

for those of you on facebook, i uploaded old pictures of me - in the Travel folder... HOLY SHIT!! yeah, i've lost 1/2 myself...

HOLY CRAP

I stuck with my plan for a WHOLE DAY!! no 'tweaking' it or
anything.. can I make it two days??

sent from my iPhone ;)

ok so I did it...

treadmill, elliptical & bike

SOOOO out of shape!!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

a complete shit day

my best friend died today. god that is so fucking hard to type.

several years ago she had breast cancer.. thanks to a double
mastectomy, she beat it. 2 years ago she was diagnosed with liver &
bone cancer... a few months ago she told me it had moved to her
brain. these past couple of months, I let my life get in the way of
seeing her & talking to her... I was thinking of her all weekend, but
my in laws were in town. I txted her daughter last night to find out
visiting info for her (hospice) & we were going to visit tonight when
DH came home.

her daughter txted me this afternoon that she died this morning...
she didn't get to meet Joshua.... this fucking sucks so bad...

sent from my iPhone ;)

drive by posting

of course i havent forgotten, but ive just been too busy to post...

happy 1 year anniversary to my gut-wack... yup, a year ago today (well, Feb 29th) i had my tummy tuck...

thanks dr pollock... :)

a decision

ok, I gotta get my fat ass moving again...

sooooo, starting Monday, I will be getting up at 4, not to feed Joshua
(rick said he'd do it) but to go work out... start 2-3 times a week &
see how that works out...

I'm tired already just thinking about it..

oh yeah, I'm gunna start eating better too... one of my old pregnancy
cravings is still looming - chocolate chip cookie dough... gotta stop
eating that... : /

sent from my iPhone ;)

ummm, thanks but no..

today is DH's & my 11tb wedding anniversary. I was feeding Joshua and
DH came in to chat & wish me happy anniversary. he said 'here's your
anniversary present' and went to pat Joshua but went a tad low and
patted my tummy.... UMMM, NOO!

he then goes to tell me about the Mardi Gras cake & how he found the
baby last year & now we have a baby... big dork found the baby this
year too... NOT FUNNY!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

WARNING - WAYYYY tmi...

has it ever been so good & sooo intense that you literally had to stop
and get a drink??

sent from my iPhone ;)

OMG!!

I am SOOO out of shape!!
30 min treadmill, 20 min bike... dyin!!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

h o l y shit!!

ummm ...RESTRICTION!!!! i was having a piece of toast for breakfast...Joshua woke up, so i scarfed down 1/2 of it....

lets just say its REALLY hard to PB while trying to feed a newborn... *sigh*

new banana flavored cheerios

... not a fan...

update on 30December08 post

the bigger twin passed away. it was sudden and horrible. this happened while i was in the hospital and i still think of it... :* (

how I spend

a HUGE portion of my days...

oh dear!

i am wearing pre-pregnancy pants today ... teeee heeee!!

"Lose It"..

a new FREE iPhone app that can log calories consumed & burned...
since I let my body bugg subscription expire, I wanted something to
track... this looks like it'll do the job! :)

sent from my iPhone ;)

oh dear...

SLOW IT DOWN!!!

restriction on liquids... I'm used to chugging my drink... BAD idea
now..

sent from my iPhone ;)

fill

so I've gained 20 pounds overall (not counting the bloat/water weight
I've lost)... not too bad at all... surgery center was very
pleased! so am I actually...

I got a 3.0 fill for a total of 4.0... I didn't know I had 1.0 in
me... made an appt for next month just in case...

liquids today, mushies start tomorrow...

sent from my iPhone ;)

all is well

I go in for my much needed fill tomorrow. no idea how much she will
give me, hopefully more than a typical 'first fill', but who knows...

NO CLUE what I'm going to drink while on liquids... I used to drink
Atkins shakes, but since they reformulated, they pretty much taste
like ass, so no thanks... maybe I'll just do chai lattes all day??
yummmmm!

Christine
sent from my iPhone ;)

well, at least this is going right...

over the weekend, he gained THREE ounces... that's pretty huge for someone his size (now up to 6lb 3oz) he has surpassed his birth weight... yay...

the scale for me is going down - s l o w l y ... but down none the less ... yay!!

pictures....

thought i'd address this here as well as LBT... there are wayyyyyyy too many wackjobs for me to put pics on the blog... the ONLY way i'd do that would be to make it a private blog and i really dont want that...

if you want pictures, i am a posting fool on facebook ... if you dont know my real name, either PM me on LBT with your facebook email address or you can look up Losing Jusme ... i dont use that account, but if you request friendship, i'll zip you my real email address...

for Mr. Man....

i've always loved this song ... now i know who it's about...

have I mentioned...

I NEED A FILL

hungry!!!!!!!!!!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

yes, yes, i'm alive... my birth story...

ok, here goes ... its pretty long, but it's everything i can remember. Joshua is the greatest... takes up a ton of my time by me just looking at him... :)


my induction started at 8 on Thursday night (29January) with cytotek (?? – a cervical ripener) nothing happened after that until i received a second dose at midnight-ish then the contractions started very sporadically - although i had NO CLUE they were contractions ... i didnt know what they were supposed to feel like... so at 5:30am Friday they started the pitocin and just upped it every 15-30 minutes. the contractions were there but not regular (still)...

about noon my water broke on its own (thought i peed the bed - seriously - i was apologizing to the nurse and everything...) *one thing no one ever told me was once your water breaks, sometimes it just doesn’t stop …. my water did not stop flowing – errr – gushing - for a very long time – maybe until delivery ????* the contractions were finally regular enough to get my epidural about 230pm or so. unfortunately, the epi caused my BP to plummet (60s/20s) and Joshua did not like that and his heart rate went from the 140-150s to 70s for about 7 minutes. so they stopped the pitocin and that regulated my BP - i dont remember much of this at all - - i was really light headed from the BP issues and from the thought of a needle basically sticking out of my spine... i didnt know this then but they were basically prepping me for an emergency C Section there and then... :( rick was petrified of losing both of us.

they made sure we were both stable for quite awhile before starting the pitocin again ... basically with the pit, they start it at level 2 and increase it by 2 every 15-30 minutes up to level 42... when they started it over, they had to start back at level 2 again. the bad thing is with my blood pressure, i was supposed to lay on my left side pretty much the entire time so the epidural wasnt exactly working properly. i felt the contractions on my right side starting at my back and radiating thru my tummy to about my belly button. when i flipped to my right side, i felt them on my left. not a fun thing at all.

about 5 or so the contractions were REALLY strong but still irregular. i'd have a 'good' one then a mild one then a few minutes later another 'good' one...

around 8 or 9ish, my OB came in and told them to start upping the pitocin every 15 mins vs the 30 they were doing to get things 'moving along'. oh dear... the contractions became VERY intense – so high they were “off the monitor” intense - and regular - every 3-4 minutes apart. at 1030 i was having severe contractions still but we noticed with each contraction, Joshua's heartrate dropped back into the 70s (vs 140-150s). i buzzed the nurse cause i was petrified of losing Joshua. they assured me they were watching and as long as the heartrate rebounded as soon as the contraction was over, all was well.

a tad before 11pm my nurse came in to do an internal ... those are funnnnnnn - not... i was 90% effaced but only 3 cm dilated - still - since about 2ish and this is with the pitocin at the very highest level available (42). she said she would let my OB know and i knew right then i would be having a c section. my doc came in about 15 excrutiating minutes later and did another internal with the same results - all the hoping and wishing didnt dilate me any more unfortunately.... she confirmed my fear of the c section and the anesthesiologist came right in to start giving me mega epidural... he was literally pushing a whole syringe full into my line (before he was giving me a few cc's at a time). i asked if he'd be a 1/30 baby or 1/31 cause i like the idea of 1/31. they told me more than likely 1/30 cause they thought it would be a good idea to get him out ASAP. so in less than 1/2 hour, i was fully prepped (mostly prepped from when my BP dropped earlier), the OR was ready and i was on the table. the epidural still wasnt working and i felt the 'prick' of the needle around where they would make the incision line, so they decided to put me in 'twilight' .. after about 1 minute of that med, i was OUT ... i didnt feel anything ... i was nowhere near awake which was really disappointing. i did wake up to hear them say "her" (Rick said in reference to me) and i said Dr. G (perinatologist) said he was a BOY!!!! then zonked out again. i once again woke up as they were closing me with staples... felt every last one of those puppies...

so at 11:47pm after about 20 hours of labor my son arrived. he is perfect. i never thought i could love someone i didnt even really know so incredibly much. i never thought i could share the love i have for Syd... but its just amazing...

Joshua is now doing well. he was a bit jaundiced for a few days, but his levels came down today (yay!!) and he gained 1.5oz (yay again!) he really is so much fun... (although that is probably the sleep deprivation talking as well - up every hour or so (we have to feed every 2 hours) ... fun times but worth every sleep deprived minute! :)

Rick, Christine, Sydney & Joshua...

pic

will post more on facebook

going in for c section NOW

sent from my iPhone ;)

no update really

- pitocin started 530 this am
- contractions started almost right after
- water broke on it's own (I thought I peed the bed!!)
- epidural about 2
- my BP dropped
- Joshua did NOT like it one bit, his heartrate went from normal
130-150 to 70(!!) stayed that way for a few minutes
- his heartrate & my BP are now great as long as I lay on my LEFT side
(only)...
- as of 10:51, I'm dilated to 3... I think dr is coming in to tell me
C Section

sent from my iPhone ;)

sleep?? what's that?

pitocin started about 5:30

sent from my iPhone ;)

TOTAL

pain in the rear to comment on a comment from my iPhone (keeps
crashing browser) so I'll just post ;)

thanks for your comments. I REALLY appreciate them... I did just get
about 90 or so min sleep, but (piggy me) wanted to eat before my
midnight cutoff ..

Joshua is being stubborn!! he DOES NOT want to stay on the monitor..
stinker!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

joshua's heartbeat...

all looks great.. not in any sort of labor that I know of yet...
nurses assure me when I'm in labor I'LL KNOW IT...

induction started

IV placed (one try!!!) and cyto inserted... 830 on the dot...

O.M.G...

this is becoming more and more real... im so anxious and scared shitless at the same time... i am now in my new room (the {"presidential suite" - its about 1 1/2 times as big as the old labor room)... bp monitor is now on for good, and i am on the baby monitor for good until i deliver.. hopefully he wont be an absolute stinker and keep moving...

the nurse will come to the room in about 20 minutes to start my IV (ugh!!) and get the cytotek inserted. after that i have to stay in be for at least 90 minutes to get the cyto working (aka let it melt).

will try to update when i can...

ok... so I'm REALLY

flying on Ambien right now and this may not make sense... just a
warning... :)

for the past few nights - including tonight - right before I go to
sleep, I play Joshua's play list... - imagine, good boy, a baby
changes everything, halleluia, good things, higher, etc.. 34 ish
songs... most nights he 'dances' for me.... and I bawl cause I know
in just a few short days I won't get to do that any longer.. yes,
I'll get to hold him and snuggle with him, but the thing right now,
only _I_ can do this and it feels super special.... I'm really gunna
miss it... :**** /

I still can't wait to hold my little man in my arms though.... it's
after midnight, so less than 20 hours - today - is the start of the
induction... WOW!!!!

thanks for coming along for the ride with me... **hugs** to you all!!!
C
sent from my iPhone ;)

induction Friday

4:30am not 5:30... it's a very good thing!!!! :) !!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

dammit!!

it was actually good... oops

mr. man is apparently out of room

he's getting much bigger and i just dont see myself stretching any more. i used to be able to lay 'quasi' on my side/stomach... not so much anymore. it actually physically hurts when i do so.

and he is pulling my gall bladder scar, i dunno if its my uterus hitting it but whenever i put the slightest bit of pressure on it, not a good feeling

2 more days ... nope, i am not counting today (Tuesday) nor am i counting Friday cause we're starting super early... hell, i may even go into labor on my own with the cervitek (sp???)... im kinda wishing i would go into labor Tuesday or Wednesday... i could maybe be home for the weekend for when my parents come into town (Thurs - Mon) i wish they would stay later just to help out, but sucK is life....

ok, i've been up for a bit over an hour ... time to go back to bed...

ok, Ambien is my new BFF

especially when i have shitty neighbors...

i dunno ... im in some sort of funk i guess ... i REALLY just want to go home for a day or two.. have me come back Thursday night ... i wish... but i can imagine my BP going thru the freaking roof those days... plus we are having cleaners come over Wed & Thurs so i really cant stay home...

*sigh* i miss my DH... i miss the alone time... i miss sex with DH ... (i've been on bed rest since 1/1 and had a yeast infection before that - - L O N G time) ... im trying convince him to come to the hospital just for some cuddle time tomorrow while DD is with my mom's club, but he has a full afternoon of meetings ... **cry**

no news....

3 days til induction!!
thursday night they are going to start 'ripening' my cervix if im not dilated yet. then early friday morning they will start the pitocin if i dont go into labor on my own.

my DH has strict instructions to post here and my facebook status once Joshua has arrived. Meredith will post on LBT for me (thanks!)

my bp has been "ok" not horrible, but not perfect... i think the bottom number has been in the 70s all day, so not too bad..

the shitty news is that this f'ing hospital has once again given me a noisy neighbor... she is more than likely long term (here til she delivers - and she's less than 35 weeks AND on the baby monitor 24/7 which means i get to hear them 'looking for' the heartbeats (twins) with the volume UP ... grr)... i know i only have 4 more nights, but dammit ... id like them to be QUIET nights... if she's noisy at night i will complain. im supposed to be RESTING ... and her husband is a fing loudmouth... i guess i am just too polite. when DH and DD are here we talk quietly and if DD starts acting up, DH takes her out of the room... maybe that will change tonight and she'll hear how thin the walls are... ?

but anyway... Joshua is moving sooo much... it really is cool i felt a specific body part this afternoon... i was just rubbing my belly (i do that a lot lately) and felt a kinda lump in it... i pushed it, it pushed back... the nurse was in here talking to me and i asked what she thought it was, more than likely an elbow... awwwwwww....! :)

call me crazy...

but I think Joshua is goiing to wake up about 3am for something...
food, diaper, SOMETHING... why else would I be waking at this time
even after Ambien?? sigh

sent from my iPhone ;)

grrr

ok, seriously... shift change for the nurses was over an hour and a half ago... it is S L O W here today/tonight.. when i went up for ice at 650 (10 min before shift change), there was one other person on the board besides me and they were all standing around chit chatting...

i am EXHAUSTED tonight ... SO tired i could fall asleep now... but my 800 vitals are 30 min overdue, i still need Joshua to be monitored and that usually takes from 20-90 min depending on the nurse and how well he cooperates...

im getting really quite pissed... i'd understand if it was super busy, but ITS NOT...

eviction date set

my OB is on call today, I really tried to convince her to induce me
today, but she called Joshua a 'wimpy white boy', thankfully that had
been explained to me by Faith and I understood.. ;) I tried to
convince her that he's half Asian, but it's a no go unless I go into
labor au natural...

ok... Joshua's official eviction date is on the books.. THIS Friday,
January 30th EARRRRRLY in the AM... they will start the process
Thursday after dinner...

omg... I just can't believe it's THIS WEEK!

sent from my iPhone ;)

ok, maybe im just in "a mood"

but someone i've never even really talked with on a certain message board asked me how i was spending my time besides eating ...

WHAT.THE.FUCK lady.... i dont know you and if you intended it to be funny, it wasnt. seriously.

cause Im too lazy...

to log in on my laptop, I'll just create a new post... ;)

BP is a steady 140s/60s... anywhere from 143-148, as it was
Tuesday... so it's ok for now...

WTH is wrong tho... everyone tells me appetite decreases at the
end... soooooo not in my case... so hungry 24/7!!! grrr!!

ok benadryl FINALLY kicking on... nite all & THANK YOU for the
comments & wishes..

sent from my iPhone ;)

so very very

... tired
... bored
... sore (shoulders)

i had another wake up call from neighbors at 330 this morning ... assmunch husband was talking SO very loudly... STF up!!! so i was awake from 330ish til about 7 then woke up for breakfast and watched Dexter for a bit... then a nice 45 min or so nap... so needless to say im kinda tired today.

good news is, i told my doc that a few nurses have told me i am "low priority" (truth!) and sometimes if they are busy, i dont get my ice - which is essentially my liquid cause it melts in my crystal lite... so i asked him if a few times a day if i could get up and get my own ice and HE SAID YES!!!! yay!

i was warned that it's a "long walk"... so we'll see how i handle it.

god, i am so freaking starving! i just ate one of those cupcake cookies and OMG Joshua is on a major sugar high!!! he's bouncing around my tummy like it's a trampoline! i LOVE LOVE LOVE it! that is the one thing i'm really going to miss! i just emailed DH what he was cooking for dinner and he's cooking one of my fave dishes (potstickers).. hopefully he'll bring me some ... ok ok ok ... several! :)

i think..

Joshua is starting to 'drop'... i feel pressure umm down in my hoooo haa a bit... not a comfortable thing... now i know why REALLY pregnant women 'waddle'... when i do get a chance to get up, i do waddle a bit... but it also is pressure when i just sit down...

not that this really MEANS anything, it could be another couple weeks before i go into labor on my own... so... we shall see...

ummm

where's the CHICKEN in my grilled chicken sandwich??

dammit, I loathe stupid people

update 20jan

Dr came in ...
"as with 98% of cases with Pregnancy Induced Hypertension, your BPs are creeping up"...
i told him i knew and was getting concerned. he said that its not bad enough to take action yet, but if they continue to rise, Joshua will come earlier than the 30th.

i asked him when i should become very concerned and he said when it hits about 160s/100s-110s. i asked what if just the top number hits 160s (its been about 143ish/60s and he said then we need to reevaluate and possibly induce then. the bottom number is what REALLY concerns them, but they dont want the top number getting too high either...

sooooo... we'll see. ideally, if i can keep him in until this Friday (37 weeks - which is considered 'full term') i'll be a pretty happy camper.

an historic day...

what an incredible day it is..

sent from my iPhone ;)

dammit...

i bit the bullet on Mob Wars...

some F'er knocked me off! asswipe!

omg...

dummy me JUST realized... 10 days and I'll be in labor and maybe
holding Joshua! gahhhhhhhhh!!!!

stupid TV is giving me weird cravings... I now want a spicy chicken
sandwich & fries from Wendy's....

sent from my iPhone ;)

ok.. so now i feel

like a complete and total bitch...

yes, it's 336am... im awake ... woke up to talking from my neighbor... im tired, the talking continues for a good 5-10 minutes - its NOT quiet... i really need to sleep... im exhausted and the benadryl is not blocking my ears. i call teh nurse. she comes in (with the scale, sausage fingers are back - up almost 2 lbs overnight)...

SHE was in teh otehr room admitting the patient, apologizes, says they'll try to be as quiet as possible... i ask if the lady is ok... and kind of stop myself because
1- they cant really talk about it and
2- she wouldnt be admitted if everythign was "OK"... (duh)..

on the way out the door the nurse says lets just put it this way, there will be a rose on the door soon. ??? - im confused and ask for clarification .. "fetal demise, she's only 11 weeks though"..

it doesnt matter if you are 11 weeks or 20 weeks... anytime it is hard (i've miscarried at 7-8 weeks and its horrible...)

how incredibly sad.. she's in my thoughts...

i am SUCH the slacker...

i owe several people emails and i wanted to say im sorry here .. i've been L-A-Z-Y when it comes to emails cause its a pain in the ass to type sideways ... i actually have a bruise on my arm from where the table hits it when i type...

i'll try to be better soon... i know, i suck.

on the hospital front, all is ok ... i was up .2 lbs this morning but i think im just not drinking enough ... yesterrday i think i only had maybe 32-40 oz of liquids.. (and the piece of chocolate cake didnt help)... BP is fine if i continue to lay on my side..

i did just find out some ick news... the OB that i left for my current OB is on call on the 30th so she will more than likely be delivering Joshua... there was nothign WRONG with her, per se, she just has no personality what so ever... gahhhh!!

oh well, she's going to hand me my baby boy so i guess there's SOME good to her... ;)

my spahhhh room 1/2

here is my room at the SPAHHHHH ...

ok, the formatting is all wonky, but you're smart ... and will be able to figure it out. ;)

'front door' - curtain for privacy - closed facing my bed. it closes all the way, but i leave it partially open so the nurses wont close it "wrong" (leaving it open facing my bed)



ummm, the bathroom ... kinda tiny...



my 'view' most of the day - facing the door the flowers from my parents and Joshua's first "bed"


thrilling, huh??

my spahhhh room 2/2

ummm, my bed...


baby / BP monitor and a chair (with my body pillow i use at night)


the couch for DH and my view of the parking lot


'drink station', sink and make up bag (HA!)


TV area & my dresser

induction info,,

IF my BP continues to cooperate, my OB said they will induce me when I
am 38 weeks which will be January 30th. BUT that does not necessarily
mean he will be here that Friday. they will more than likely start the
process on Thursday the 29th then start the 'good drugs' on Friday to
get me into labor... she said i could labor all day on the 30th and
deliver on the 31st or if its a quick labor (fingers crossed) it could
be the 30th..

sooo...im just going to chill out here until either:
- i go into labor on my own (entirely possible and i'm far enough along
to where they will not stop it)
- if my BP spikes and continues to stay up (hopefully not) and they
induce me early
- January 30th when they induce me...

pregnancy stuff (in other words, i cant think of a title)

things here are boring but i am finding myself less and less on the internet... it really IS difficult to type while i am laying down... typos and all ... plus its just a pain in the ass.

bp this morning was 115/56 or so ... i lost a bit more weight but nothing dramatic.. they keep changing scales on me, so who knows... i'm just gunna call 7 pounds since Friday... its ALL water though.. my fingers really do look like fingers and i think i'd probably be able to put my rings on... but will leave them at home, one less thing to worry about.

i received a visit from a mom from the Mom's club i belong to... FANTASTIC group... they have taken DD pretty much every day this week so DH can get some work done... even just a couple hours helps out so much ... but anyway, she is literally about to pop - due in less than 2 weeks, this is her 3rd so she's HUGE .. plus she says she has huge babies (think 9+ lbs!!!) yikes! she knows i was interested in cloth diapers so she brought me a Target bag FULL of them! like i said - fabulous group!!

i received a surprise ultrasound today ... dr. g - well, let's just say he has the personality of a gnat normally... i've seen him about 4 times before today and he's just different... well today he was really OUT there... i guess the field trip to the hospital made him different... he was playing me songs off of his iPhone and everything while the tech was looking at stuff... he says there's no reason what so ever to deliver Joshua right now... (unless of course BP gets out of hand - but i'm trying to be a good girl)... trying *as i sit up typing this* - eyeroll..

good news is - Joshua is 5lbs 4oz give or take a little.. and i heard it from my favorite NICU nurse that it's a good weight, so yay!

ok, i've been sitting for about 7 minutes, im going to lie down and watch something then take a lovely Benadryl (my new BFF) and hopefully sleep thru the night. my OB is on call here tomorrow so that'll be nice (she's in a practice with about 10 other docs and they rotate)...

oh look - its an update!

bed rest is working...

since Friday, i've lost 7 pounds of 'water weight'... im less swell ;)

my BP is stable, early this morning, it was 115/58 ...

soooo, this afternoon, i decided my hips just hurt ... really hurt... i decided to sit up just a bit... i was still kinda on my side, but sitting up... nurse came in and we talked about maybe eventually being able to 'walk the hall', but not yet... she said what i was doing should be fine, i asked her if she wanted me to lie down to take my pressure, she said might as well see what sitting up does to you... 155/90!! dammit!! she put my bed down, i laid on my side for no longer than 5 minutes and my pressure dropped to about 140/60ish...

soooooooooo.... my poor hips will have to just take the abuse until Joshua is born... it's a small sacrifice to keep my little guy in my tummy a bit longer. the nurse told me im almost 36 weeks and more than likely he'd be fine especially with the steroid shots i received for his lungs, but id REALLY rather deliver at 37 or later... 37 is considered full term, we'll see...

so thats the story .. had yet another FABULOUS dinner tonight... DH & DD are on their way with a proper dinner ...

another failed dinner

chicken & dumplings.... I call it 'slop'... even the beans were
horrible..

holy crap...

LOTS of food!!!

more mystery meat..?

and those don't look anything like green beans....

wow....

im losing weight ...

im down 3 pounds in a couple days... its NOT cause im not eating crap (thank you DH for the 18 pound bag of M&Ms)... the swelling is going down so im losing the extra fluid... yay....

why???

ok ... i woke up about 530... didnt sleep as well as night before, but i still slept "OK"...

i know they have to weigh me and i have to give a lovely 'sample'... gave my sample - i'm getting pretty good at that ... i can normally even do it without going all over my hand now - even at 530 in the morning...

i called the nurse at 535 - 'im up for a minute, you wanna come weigh me'? secretary said she'd send her "right in"... its now 557.... I WANNA GO BACK TO BED!! but you know, as soon as i lay my big butt on the bed she'll stroll in ...

grrrrrrrrrrrrr

MUCH better

oh... and today in particular sucks...

because today was the Disney Marathon... Rick and I were supposed to be running it today... **sigh**

update...

doc came and saw me this morning (730 - ugh!!) and said all looks well. i will be in here til i deliver (unless of course i get a f'ed up doc who says i am discharged..)

he said delivery would probably be next week - Sunday starts this week, so NEXT sunday's week... i reminded him im not due til 13February and he said it may be later depending on how my pressures are... ideally, i'd like to wait til the last week of January... ideally....

here - in the hospital on bed REST - vs just IN bed at home... my pressures look great... in fact, my last one was about 130/50or60... so really quite good...

soooo im sitting / laying here thinking about what i want to do ... i have a loud neighbor and doesnt help much with the rest, but hopefully she'll shush soon...

i have a few movies on my laptop and 24 does start tonight. i hope its better than the past few seasons...

thanks everyone for their thoughts & prayers ... MUCH appreciated...

UGH!!!

admitted to the 'spa'

yup, I've been admitted until I deliver.. 2-3 weeks probably.

THANK GOD for health insurance!!!!

sent from my iPhone ;)

ok, I just need to create a 'template' email

off to labor & delivery again...
148/94ish... yay... ok, not

Christine
sent from my iPhone ;)

cleaning my old hard drive

... i found my work out schedule for January 2007... HOLY SHIT!

i was literally working my ass off. M-W-F-Sat 2 sessions... one cardio and on M/W/S a class in the afternoon... Friday i just did 2 sets of cardio. T/Th i had an hour long training session and always did 30 mins of cardio beforehand. Sunday was my 'lazy' day - didnt do anything... lazy lazy girl....

after Joshua comes, i'm seriously thinking about doing this for a month or so (wont be able to continue it too long with a newborn) so my commitment to myself is 3-5 times a week. work.my.ass.off...

WHAT THE F IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???!!!!

ok, ok, ok... i admit, FARRRRRR from perfect...

but in the past DAY i've read two very disturbing posts on LBT...

first was "i had surgery 2 days ago, but i ate a burger today"
second was regarding portion control "i just ate a double-double cheeseburger from in-and-out"

WHAT.THE.FUCK people??????? did you NOT have weight loss surgery?

**shaking head**

fucking idiots!

REALLY PEOPLE.....

i think i can gnaw a freaking arm off!!!!

poor DH .. how's he going to work with only 1 arm?? ;)

have i told you lately...

that i'm FING HUNGRY????!!!

seriously...

breakfast - HUGE bowl of cocoa crispies
lunch 11:00 - almost 2 whole chicken quesadillas from Chipotle
snack 2:30? - WANTED a wendy's spicy crispy chicken sandwich but settled for a bux chai tea
dinner 5:00ish - no fewer than 7-8 chinese dumplings (potstickers) DH cooked
snack 1 7ish - handful of Chicken in a Biscuit
snack 2 9ish? - 2 cupcake cookies (see a post below)
oops - forgot snack 3 1030ish - 1 piece of Kraft Deli Select Swiss Cheese (the only cheese i will eat right now...) YUMMIE!!!!!!!!!!

and now its after midnight and i freaking want a rotisserie chicken ... i honestly think i could eat the WHOLE thing...

the only good news of the day ... i didnt gain one freaking pound since new year's eve... considering i've been pretty much eating what i want AND on bed rest for what - 5 days... not bad...

going home

sent from my iPhone ;)

back to labor & delivery

being monitored... BP was high at office, ok here... we'll see....

sent from my iPhone ;)

yup, i'm home

you'd think that being on bed rest and bored stupid i'd be posting all.the.freaking.time, but im just not ... im not keeping up with my blog list either .. so sorry if i havent made any comments on your blogs...


what have i been doing? nothing that requires thought ... playing Sims2, reading (Twilight series) and moping around...

im doing OK i think. i go in for an appointment tomorrow. hopefully my BP will cooperate and they'll let me stay at home. but it is stressful here! between to whiny obnoxious dogs and my lovely DD who has to have her way no matter what - even if "mama's sick"... i think i'd still rather be home in a comfy bed ... ya know?

so DH's boss is amazing... DH called him Sunday and he didnt even have to ask - his boss just said "work from home, done" ... DH feels like since he is the manager for a good sized group, he HAS to go in a couple times a week for a few hours - make an appearance - which i totally understand... soooo, my Mom's club is helping out SOO much. i cannot believe the overwhelming support that i have been offered!!! they are taking DD to playdates, to restaurants so she can play in the playground (McD's, Chick Fil A, etc...) and they are bringing food...

which is a good thing cause last night's dinner ... ummm, yeah, not so much... and it was EASY ... wait til tonight's Chicken Fajitas ... i think im going to smell onions (burned) in the house for days.. oh well, DH really IS trying ... and he's seeing how difficult it is home with DD sometimes..

im tierd of being in bed... really tired of it ... i have NO CLUE but im hungry 24/7 (bored maybe??)... the one good thing is, i can feel Joshua moving A LOT more now than i could when i was up and about ... LOVE IT!!

so, i will try to update regularly... i am going to pack a bag for the hospital just in case they admit me tomorrow... i will bring my laptop and supposedly the rooms have free wi-fi .. if not, there's always Sims2 ... yup, imageek!! ;)

thanks so much for your thoughts... i REALLY do appreciate them!!!