well fuck a duck... a confession of sorts...

i really think i need to be finished with Atkins.

really

it works really well for me and to be honest, i really like the fatty food ... i know ... bad bad bad bandster...

but i usually only last 2 weeks maximum and then for the next weeks/month i splurge promising that i will get back on track ... really... i will get back on track ...

after the cakes, cookies (looking to my right at the white chocolate mac. nut cookies that i've inhaled), M&Ms, etc...

WHAT
THE
FUCK

other than the fact that im not exercising as much as i can because my PS hasnt released me to full exercising and eating like a fucking pig

fuck
fuck
fuck

anyone in texas (dallas area) wanna come kick my ass... ??

06September work out

i had an hour session with Steph this morning.

before, i hopped on the elliptical and cranked out 3/4 mile. it was AMAZING. wow wow wow.

Steph truly is amazing. she knows just how hard to push me and i was hot and sweaty all training session. she even made me do push ups!! they were horrible and i barely got down, but it's better than nothing i suppose. she is making me feel stronger each day.

after my session, i cranked out another 3/4 mile on the elliptical.

yesterday was my 'free day' and i did gain. a tad over 2 pounds, but we'll see what happens tomorrow. my last free day i gained, then dropped over double what i gained, so i am anxious to see what happens.

i cant believe i've been banded almost a year. Sunday it will be 11 months. i still have a LONG way to go, but am very pleased with how far i've come. i am wearing one of my "Target dresses" and it is actually loose on me! of course i have my "sucker inner" on, but i've always worn one with this dress and it is actually getting a bit baggy... woooo hooooo.

05Sept work out

what an infreaking-credible workout!

i was drenched when i was finished. total of 2.75 miles on elliptical and 9 on the bike. i also did my torso twists 3x15 and a little balance work.

it is a "free day" and i had a hash brown. of course i got the combo but cant even think about eating it right now ... **sigh**

weight was down this morning - 272.75

soooooooooooo far out of ketosis now ... ; )

ok, so dinner went ummmm ... well. NOOOO problems of still being in ketosis.

let's see ... general chicken (w/ rice), crab something or other, smmmmmalllll piece of prime rib, 1/4 'fried' scallop - ick...

oh yeah, about 10 teaspoons of mint chocolate chip ice cream and 4 (yes, 4) chocolate chip cookies. they were still warm and so incredibly delicious!!

so - back to low carbing it tomorrow. i have a feeling i will pay for my night out when i step on the scale, but you know, i really am not regretting it (too much anyway). my normal appetite is back and i do not feel weak or sluggish.

i have planned my exercise for the week. it is strict, hopefully i will be able to figure out a way to post it here.

too far deep into ketosis

i am weak and not hungry ... going to knock myself out of ketosis and start again ... i just had some spinach and artichoke tortilla chips ... not bad...

too bad my DH only gave me miniscule (sp?) bites ...

so this whole "free day" issue ...

well, it worked for me. in a very nice way.

i am now almost 120 pounds down! gack!! 30 more to go til my next mini goal of 150 gone. i hope to be able to do it by October 8 - my 'bandiversary'

i did come up with some guidelines for my free days... i think i will limit them to twice a month.

"Free Day" guidelines

Day Before
- work out
- cals below 1200
- carbs below 10
- HYDRATE

Day Of
- work out
- HYDRATE

Day After
- work out
- cals below 1200
- carbs below 10
- HYDRATE!!!!!!!!

2 Days After
- work out

by hydrate i mean 100 or more ounces of liquid a day

09 Aug food

yikes ...

well i can see now how i got to 402 lbs ... my 'free' day was almost 3500 cals ... but i got the stuff i've been really wanting out of my system ... and yup, i am logging everything. oh boy.

free day part 2

ok, so next free day will not be so free....